My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
