Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
