My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
