i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize