break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My pussy is not your playground.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
