All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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