i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
