come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
