What did we do last night that was yellow?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
