I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
