Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
