whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
