should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
