If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
