one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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