i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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