My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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