no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
