So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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