New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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