Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
