I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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