Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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