I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
