Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize