you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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