Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
