Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
zippers are such a cool invention
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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