Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
