He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
