I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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