I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize