i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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