Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
