ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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