You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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