so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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