lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
