i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
