i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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