Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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