Whod you bang
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
