just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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