He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
