It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
