why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You're like the curious george of whores
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The power of my boobs compel you
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
