reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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