my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
