I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
