i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oh god it's open bar.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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