fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
we're so committed to being not committed
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
