i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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