Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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