If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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