i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
