the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am one with the molecules
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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