Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
